The New Year is coming and the things most people think about are New Year resolutions. Some will post something on Facebook, some will make a list, others will keep the list from previous years... whatever works for you.
The other day I found a New Year resolution list in the bottom of a drawer. The list is so unrealistic, no wonder it was on the bottom of the drawer!
So I was thinking about a list (yes, that very one) that most people do and it is doomed to fail. And I decided to name it "Top 10 New Year´s Resolutions List that is Doomed to Fail ". Well, if the list is doomed to fail I don´t have to be creative naming it. And it´s my list, so feck off. :)
PS: That is not my own list even though mine failed as well. :P
So here it goes:
TOP 10 NEW YEAR´S RESOLUTIONS LIST THAT IS DOOMED TO FAIL
1. Start a diet or loose _____ kilos/pounds.
I lost count of the number of times I deceived myself. And we all know the result (I don´t want to be prolix). And good food taste good, so enjoy it!
2. I´ll stop smoking.
How many times have you either said it or heard someone say it to you? And then you´re drinking coffee and you want to smoke a cigarrette, you´re having a pint and it´s the same feeling. Take that pressure off you and when you do and if you do quit smoking then kudos to you! Until then, enjoy your nicotine!
3. I´ll exercise more.
I have a personal problem with this one. I tried. I really did. The problem is:
The environment itself, those horrible songs and people worried about showing their bodies rather than having a healthy life. Not to mention that instructors only pay attention to the regular hotties in the gym. If you are way behind, their suggestion is hire a personal trainer... as if! If I saved all the money I wasted trying to become a member of a gym... don´t want to even go there. Aff! I admit it, sometimes I paid the membership and I´d exercise a lot... in my mind. :/ And when you find excuses not to do something it becomes a burden. And who likes burdens?
Do whatever you like and makes you feel comfortable with.4. I´ll try to relax more.
If you are like me, that won´t work. Embrace the workaholic in you. Because if you don´t, even when you can relax you won´t be able to. But sometimes it is good to force yourself to relax. Even if your mind doesn´t help you.
5. I´ll quit drinking..
This one is as tricky as stop smoking. Why not rephrase the resolution to a " I do not intend to drink too much I can make an arse of myself and if I do I have no intention of remembering it"? Well, if I don´t remember doing it, I haven´t done it! Simple as that!
6. I´ll spend more time with family and friends
People usually write that one but what they forget to ask themselves is: how is the time they spend with their family and friends? Are you friends with the Joneses? Keeping up with them pisses you off? Do you have true friends? And most important: are you a good friend? Or are you just too self-absorbed to even pay attention to anything that is not about you?
Do you think about making new friends or are you one of those people who already have your group of close friends and let all these amazing people pass you by without even noticing?
Regarding family, what´s the point of spending time with them if all you do is scream and argue all the time. Or if you go to your parents' , you spend most of your time in your bedroom...
Try to get to know your family. Try to understand them. And if they get on your nerves don´t be mad at them. They won´t change. Ask yourself why are you giving the other person that much power over you and sort yourself out. There, said it.
As for friends, the Joneses will always be the Joneses. As for the self-absorbed friends, I´m no kitchen roll but I still like you! :) But good friends... keep them close. They are the family you can choose.
7. I´m getting out of Debt.
Why did you get on debt on the first place? Consumerism got us blind and despite wearing glasses sometimes, most times it is hard not to indulge yourself to a little something. I hear you, sister! I do want the newest Iphone even though I don´t even know how to use my Nokia´s internet. If you can not control yourself, do it like Rachel. I´ll hold you hand, promise.
8. I´ll learn something new.
When we impose ourselves to learn something, it is doomed to fail. Why? Because you´re not doing out of love. There´s no passion in it. And learning requires passion. Take your time and when you find something that you´re passionated about, do it. Do not worry about other´s opinion. In the end of the day the satisfaction will be yours and yours only. And if you decide you don´t like it anymore then find another passion to follow. In this life, nothing is immutable.

9. I´ll enjoy life more.

10. Find love.
Find love is one´s upmost priorities. How can you find love? I tried to find love for a very long time without success. FYI I´m not a looser. I did have my share of successful weird ventures. And those times I wasn´t trying to find anything. New Year is coming and people are doing all sorts of things... red lingerie for love, eating lentils and grapes... all kinds of superstitions. At midnight you MUST kiss someone. How many times have you ended up so drunk that you didn´t want to jinx you New Year and you ended up kissing the most annoying/ unattractive person at the party? Did your love life in the following year changed? That reminds me of that NOFX song...
I´ve done my share of charity, so this year let love find me!
This is the end of my Top 10 New Year´s Resolutions List that is Doomed to Fail. Don´t let the event peer presure you into making a list and have an awesome 2011!

9. I´ll enjoy life more.
This one is funny. Can you actually make yourself enjoy something more? When I read something like that (believe me, I used to write it myself, a LONG time ago...) I feel like having a dish full of ochra (lady fingers if you prefer) and repeat to myself: I´ll enjoy ochra more...NOT!
Perhaps I´m not being accurate comparing life with ochras but you get the point (Life is bitter and gooey sometimes).
All I can say is the day I started to live for the day (not like it would be the last day) I started to enjoy life significantly more. And if you are able to notice life´s everyday miracles, like a tiny ant carrying a leave 10 times heaviers than her, or a bright sky or even a nice home made meal, then you are the lucky ones.
Today my motto is: "My plan is not to have a plan!" Never felt so light in my whole life.
10. Find love.
Find love is one´s upmost priorities. How can you find love? I tried to find love for a very long time without success. FYI I´m not a looser. I did have my share of successful weird ventures. And those times I wasn´t trying to find anything. New Year is coming and people are doing all sorts of things... red lingerie for love, eating lentils and grapes... all kinds of superstitions. At midnight you MUST kiss someone. How many times have you ended up so drunk that you didn´t want to jinx you New Year and you ended up kissing the most annoying/ unattractive person at the party? Did your love life in the following year changed? That reminds me of that NOFX song...
I´ve done my share of charity, so this year let love find me!
This is the end of my Top 10 New Year´s Resolutions List that is Doomed to Fail. Don´t let the event peer presure you into making a list and have an awesome 2011!
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